I heard we made out
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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