yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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