she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
