dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
