so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
