you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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