so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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