I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
