it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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