There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
