there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
