I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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