Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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