And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
