for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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