just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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