brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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