I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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