Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
