I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
