by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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