So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i think im in europe. pls send help
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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