I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
