Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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