Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Drunk is not a location!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
