I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
