I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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