Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
