but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
