I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
