im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I can't turn off my feet"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
