my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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