Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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