why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
