ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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