My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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