hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
