Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
