I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize