Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
