You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
