I'm sorry my penis didn't work
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
