Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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