You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
