I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
