What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
