I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
