i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
