When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
handjob tips. give me some.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
