I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
