I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize