dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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