did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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