only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
