So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
