So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
