Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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