So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
