BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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