I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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